Life thing could never be the lasting to have the same memory having no change, it must be spending all the lifetime in remebering many things acting other thing, but even to one memory, each time's remembering and reminiscent aspect is so distinct, or selecting the mode to remember, piling up another chain of making memory next to next.

Acting thing is at each moment very distictive, even at same acting, that object, wishing mind at completing it is anytime so personal, never be compared to any other occasion, that thing means life must be going on only stepping forward, no returning, anytime our brain and mind are occupied with next supposed phase and for meeting, only watching now present ongoing thing.

Life is, at a viewpoint, obviously repitition and getting energy and hope in completing something and switching mind mode to next phase, and stage or deployment in being retrodpective and introspective, regularly resting, sleeping, and wakening up to us, almost by ourselves, but occasionally urged, or asked by somebody as clients or so. 

Life thing must never be constantly interesting, but neither consistently agonized nor smothered, sometimes so bored, even disgusting but sometimes so comically enigmatic in humorous aspect, but sometimes so empty, and vacant felt at even not so bad outcome nor achievement, never yet occasionally even falling into the emotion to throw everything we'd continued to complete away from own built life all things, but simultaneiusly, even at losing everything we'd personally keep so preciously, rather refreshened in having pleasantly ease and hoping to forget all these past things, thus, it must be anytime ambiguous, amvivalent, and simultanesously comedy and tragidy, comics and novels, romantic story and suspensively characterized both heavy concerto and light soup opera. 

Even at knowing so well to outputted result we can presume not so well, we frequently dare to sprint toward not positively constructive aspect, even at very self-confidently convincing reason holding, dare to make all proceeding so carefully slowly, anytime so whimsically, ficklly but anytime so timidly, hesitant, and being fed up with everything carring on to the future, although immediately recovering hopefully ambition, and also in asuming everything is under control, suddenly switching the targetted object and aim, in lasting not satisfied and exhausted feeling, but passing one moment, clarified idea and course pop up at mind, or in mind flashily.

Only unpredictable, not so wishfully, but gradually having brightened demand and craving, that means to some extent for anybody filled with ups and downs , but at the same time, just objectively looking at own vicissitude, in catching the best wishful hoping thing without any fail, very disillusioned, but at another occasion, in missing to catch the best target, but immediately meeting the another but very ideal thing to us we'd never met ever, everything could never go on to unknown future, with each coming day not expectably but not so omenous, even not so anxiously facing, but with a moment passing, abruptly so intimidated by even holding sinisterly unseen hunch. 

Meanwhile, at desperately jeopadized and emergency confronting situation, never so shaken nor disturbed just only calmed mind makes us composed, never yet so boldly self-confident, any progress and running is smoothe to be met, all these things are just reverse, turnover, and eventually everything could be advent, holiday and working day, at the same time but additionally, even payoff, retaliation and providence, so confidentially, and explicilty, just those roatations are circulated regulation but either irregularly breaking up things serially, and at wakeup from everythng, only many wrinkled face seen at mirror, combining thing is only greyed hair and partially bald head skin.

Life, very shortened afterward we'd finished at something we act, but in acting, nothing but so lengthy and never endurably durable seen so lasting forever, that parodical, and ironically sarcastic absurdity drama must proceed so lazily and bluntly but suddenly wiped out from every world, if the life thing would be so, for the time being, supposing own whereabout in world as being from square one, and sometimes taking likelihood to outcome into account of our doing by ourselves, but occasionally taking exceptionally foolhardy method not regarding everything as so serious, but sometimes recessing all doings, and take a nap or stand up at one set location for a while, and forgetting everything we had in past, and let's get all what we should do started and in no wandering, run away from the point.

Hey, life, you are just disorderly anarchy scream, aren't you?
Otherwise, you are intended to express it only empty and gloomy tiresome long drive, you know, if that would be the truth, no problem! Never mind, coz I must need you everlastingly!

Just I'll lean on you anytime taking care of your all also from now on, then please do not forsake me no matter what happens to you, my life! Just because I would never drop out from your setting rail as orbit you would like to build to me! Because it must be nothing but my life.

(Sep. 25th. 2020)