Our life choice is usually very unconsciously done by chance, so incidentally, and unexpectedly. Eventually our life all time must be managed by accidentality in sequence, serially anytime is on infinitely possible to happen, then all time any moment could be parting to something and either meeting out of the blue something.

One meeting to something, somebody is simultaneously the parting to another thing, losing another encounter, and very many things are what aterward, we could know and understand, that time was losing a thing to us, but with its fact, it was meeting and realizing something in exchange for missing that. 

One future due to get one love at one date was lost when we met another thing. Eventually very many wonderful possiblity to get encountering could be lost with another accidental meeting. In other words, we anytime unconsciously pile up each unconscious accidental getting and losing synchronically and in uncounsciousness, very many switching and get shifted consequences must be gotten to our personal life.

And we could never get lost thing as meeting and its possibility back to each now life.

In terms of its fact, we pile up missing to meet, get chances, in these aspects, we eventually get just one thing.
As its view, anytime, all time points could be watershed, and we always could be known that one past as that time, that encounter was our own watershed, we could be noticed to own destined matter. 

Eventually, not realized love, not realized job, chance have very many unrealized, aborted infinity, eventually these not ceasing accumulating ongoing time must make infinite nearmisses, though we consciously or unconsciously try to ignore all missed chances, and we try to make an effort not to having any regret, then we try to be mentally nornal. 

Because we all could never do anything once again from the beginning, because if we try to do the same thing, it must be second trial, as similar as the actor or actress tries to play a role in front of shooting camera. 

We consistently are alive at the sole moment we could never repeat having no spending wasted energy. Then anything should be smoothly done so well, though we either feel any our impossibility to look back to our own past in very busy and tough lotating life cycle, to that reality, we have so unsolved questionable mind, but nobody could never be satisfied to that not eliminating frustrative which mind must stock discontent, then we try to have all frustration diffused, nevertheless, we could free from our that not emancipated stressful mind when we look back to own past done things around our own matter.

In conclusion, we accidentally are awoken to our own aging and the condition to get older in life, but we must spend another day next to next, our time spending essentially different from saved money, money volume could be felt the not changed, as long as not having rate change, but time consuming is never like that, it must mean losing future for us.

There, we could get knowlege of time and us in paradox, and palody. Never retrieavable time consumptive one direction going only manages our life. 

Only that pitiless reality must make us hurry up, and get tiredness, these funny repeating cycles make us seniler approaching hell. 

Hey, don't contact with me, hell dispatch Satan of you, but from now on, why don't we keep company with each other, you know?!

(Oct. 25th. 2020)