After all, I personally tried to analyze my body arresting wanted Mr. Charlie Craig mentality and the own idea so considerably, and concluded that to him, my presence was kind of bit that smaller threat at least at keeping up with his own status, only the thing was definitely proved through suffering made by him at my favorite local zone in S◯◯t◯m◯ prefecture Y◯r◯◯  Machi, as his unexpected approach and trial around captivity against me. 

Those days about more than half a year, I was made in captivity by him at M◯n◯m◯ K◯w◯g◯ch◯-ko Machi, the thing those days made me think that his own carefulness and subtle vigilance around watching everything, because my operating training by itself was so strictly harder for participating in to any my controlling member, but at least at the incident made by him in Y◯r◯◯ Machi, his directly closer approaching intention certainly evidenced that my presence by itself was not that tiny matter at least for him, only the thing was certainly clarified with his own action which was done, so personally.

I at investigated data arrangement content doing time, sometimes clearly tried to remember any Craig's telling his discourse, though consequently, my own idea around what he had done on us as one investigating missioned crews unit chief or cap, in frank, he was one very crooked and twisted idea attending own trickster, but at the same time, he must be one so seriously delicate PTSD sufferer or so as to say or define, one typical very sensitive fragile nature attached mind holder, the definite idea had bent gradually, but exactly fixed at my own assessing mind to any worldly matter around me.

　　⚫️       🟣　　⚫️　　🔵　　⚪️        🟣　　⭕️        🔴🟢　　🟠　　🟡　　🟢 
       

🟤　　　⭕️         🔴　　　🟠　　　🟡　　　🟢　　　🔵　　　🟣　　　⚪️

If I would apply Ind◯◯ border route, at least I won't help Craig's own conspiratory wrongdoing, so smartly at evading his wicked seduction to me. But those zones must have porentially very dangerously risky condition inviting threatened probability as well must be so higher. Rather than Ir◯n route, its option will be definitely dangerous, nevertheless, in terms of evasive optional orthodox idea, at least I will do so anything without participating in illegal measurable operation, I will pass through dangerous border zone.

In other words, action by itself for the first time is providing us some visible obtained outcome in own identity. On the other hand, doing nothing means not taking any sinful thing to anything, but simultaneously it makes only inertia and stalemate in any our socially necessary acting. Though visibly making some outcome to our society, necessarily outputs own damage to no well working out, no dragging any productive outcome ones and only to some partial and finite members who had pulled something doing so well for socially totaled appearance will be given enough reward as their advantage. If I wil accept Craig's wicked tempration as seduction to involve me into wrongdoing, I will make myself easily enter in R◯ss◯◯, but probably for whole lifetime, my remorseful minded life days will welcome my seduced satanic road, forevermore until I will die. Catholic dogma and partially Heble teaching instructive religious precepts will be questioned on my credo and my own subjective conscience so strictly by Lord.

My own unstably lingering attachment exclusively transcendentally pretending desirable mind and persistently craiving around reunion with Tanya, those two mutually contradictory ideas were for some period, harshly struggling in no finding any useful solvable idea. 

(Irregularly continued)

Apr. 15th.   2024

I had waited for Saddam's own informing content, after I dispatched him in Ind◯◯, because I had to cheat Charlie Craig around my hoping applicable route for R◯ss◯◯, as he tried to take my own locomotion and the route advantage of his own illegal business, he wanted my obtained any precious data around clandestinely controlled C◯A informative network. Necessarily, using general passenger airplane for ordinary business. Only local habitants using private route, only there, I will be able to evade Craig syndicate arresting of my body.

By the way, for us all who survives these days informatively highly technologically complicated systematized society, in frank, very extremely multiple personal apperance has to be attended to us, personally, thus necessarily our own apperance is after all made so multiple personal modus ponens, consequently, and now suppositively we try to define it as Cameleon personality society survival reality, nobody can evade the typed daily mindset for surviving our informative social networked jungle. If only tiny foolish nature could have been disclosed, immediately, any atrociously ferocious brutal one's own unreasonable assaulting can approaching our own reality. Those had been besieging my several years daily reality and that had bern extended as well to my operating team's any member. 

After all, my investigating object Craig and I together had been tiny marionette controlled by these days own severely informative networked global social reality, no other identity must never be fallen under on us, together. 

On the contrary, the one whose precious informative network was once stolen or lost by the oneself fault must be nothing but only amputated one.

      ⚫️          ⚪️         ⭕️           🔴　　　🟠　　　🟡　　　🟢　　　🔵　　　🟣　

I by myself stayed at one small condominium building room at listening to Doja Cat songs through YouTube. My listening option at the moment was at "Vegas", one call was rung on, that was from Saddham at his those days staying zone as no clarified border zone for Ch◯n◯, Ind◯◯, and P◯k◯st◯n.

He spoke through inserted images at my terminal, "Those mountaneous zone temperature is easily switched, though passing border previously will need weather reported precise information, and I will procure so helpful Sherpa older man till you will come here I now stay." According to his report at those local zones for almost half month days, for making locomotion from Karacoram mountaneous ridge into Pamir plateau, some credibly helpful guide as Sherpa experienced old man will be necessary, though he at my dispatching mission period desperately tried to find the one whose ability falls under guide, one very seen credible one as sturdy old man was found by his effort. If the one and Saddam will be a comrade on the hardest locomotion on ridge, my moving days will be so helpfully easy.  Though, through international telephone conversation, I displayed him the greatest thanking emotion. 

After all, for entering in R◯ss◯◯, Iranian route usage will need Craig's seduction to me who will be involved with illegal measure and method as to his conspiracy, I will be survived, but Ind◯an route won't be so. Thus after knowing every circumstance from Saddam, my mind got some stably easy emotion again, so consequently. 

(Irregularly continued)

Apr. 14th.   2024

Mind has no obscure state only at one second, because as long as we live being alive, no other idea but some intentionally regarded own idea e.g. sleepy, dormant, wanting to do some specific matter or so must be attended in our own immanence.

Except we are at coma, anytime we are constantly dominated by some specific minded ideas or so. Only mid can have own whimsical nature as well, it drags us into so complicated spirit, and in heavy suffering, some crazy state can be made.

We have some one definite idea, nevertheless, we simultaneously have another idea which could deny first idea in no contradiction, that is just as we are. To any nature nattended phase, day by day we arbitrarily switch true mind by itself, that very uncertain and ambiguous nind and idea is rather true mind on us, you know. 

Thus, true intention or true mind are rather illusion, we should regard so arbitrarily. Nevertheless, the mind wanting never that skeptically regarded idea, that typed emotion and desire are never abbreviated so effectively.

In other words, at least around what could be about our own thing, we can have some earnest idea, so conscientiously. 

Thus fundamentally we all are never easily deviated from our constant thinking and conceiving minded state, indeed. And if we are disorderly controlled by something, we only are dragged by only busily reacting necessity around serially receiving any working out edidentity.Tgough I

Though, if we are personally surrounded by so continuously assaulted own mindfully irritated dilemma, we should regard it as some unnecessary conditioned state tresspaseing occasion, thus we should reform or recondition our own ambiently besieging state. 

Definitely, we are never so easily made insanely posturing any unnecessary condition. Though if we personally perceive some unnecessary confusing discourse by any other one, we should regard the one as only interfering some wicked identified one. 

(Irregularly continued)

Apr. 13 th.      2024