Blog for Nameless-Value

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Wanting Heard Your Singing Heals My it

There’s a moment I want to listen to so sad and ennui song, when I know I can’t help but remembering I couldn’t help anybody, many ones want to be rescued but anybody probably is apt to think of own smallness, coz really anybody can do so to anybody.


Many so tough sufferings to many ones with me but knowing I’m either so powerless, although I either can never neglect its thing, of course it’s never so conscientiously  motivated somewhat as emotion neither, just having sigh at this fact.


Although either I wouldn’t forget either I couldn’t help anybody.
Human thing has frequently an idea never relevant to social responsible indispensable, even if that is never so important in society, but it’s never so tiny thing, coz only that thing can make our mind and personality, thus even if that is never crucial to society, but it must never be overlooked in myself.


When I get that feeling, there’s a song to listen to, so personally and intrinsically unreasonably, coz we are never rationalized reasonable presence.
At the time, I just want to be healed with that song in calming my idea that I can do only small thing down.
I usually at the time listen to it in my room alone.


Never social practicing time must be surrounded by unforgettable things as past thing to us, me either.


My regretful emotion could be a little wiped out with its song’s tone and lyrical content, with whisper, I can get that feeling assimilating myself to sung world.


Unforgettable somewhat in reminiscence must never only be enjoyable nor sad, neither traumatic, it is rather another bigger something than them all, it could never be expressed.


Human is the thing even if that body can never move, only mind is left and never yet, memory could never be removed, that is just so nasty.


Its truth can make us think so life is so vain, but nobody can tell it to anybody.
Thus, anybody tries to diminish that feeling. Then, the one wants to listen to favorite song alone.


If that emotion was never appearing, we’d never have a habit to listen to songs.


People do never continue to keep its gapped feeling between reminiscence and involving with society, perhaps if song could never be none forever.


Capitalism secures us competing freedom and right to be prosperous in economic power, but does never secure its stability, to individual and company or even nation itself.


On the contrary, socialism does never secure and never permit throughout freedom of competition, but secures only stability of nations’ individual life, in life kept in so safe.
All songs are identified in these gaps felt to us personally and own mind feeling gap toward society and myself.


Even only heard of casualties of somewhat in crisis for all human can make us think we’re never so perfectly innocent, coz we are alive and left leaving all victims at crisis, in no damage.


In addition to it, my memory has no footprint to witness all these victims’ last moment on the spot, but some of us as left for the present overcoming crisis must have negatively unforgettable memory as witnessing casualties last moment e.g., filthy Tsunami plundering many close fellows from where they were, to some ones who could only watch that scene so powerlessly all witnessed thing could never be forgotten privately until they’d die.


Even what just watching role was never given to me, that feeling is another meant unsolved mentality.


Some of them witnessing natural disaster or national crisis of war suffering by resentment enemy to them a decade earlier of outrageous Tsunami occurred at one country.
All of them just felt powerlessness never be able to rescue them who were robbed of their lives, in front of disrupting tower buildings or Tsunami.


They all either from now on, occasionally will suffer from persistent flashback, until they’d die.


They’d never be healed with listening to songs, so easily for so long time.


Though, I’m different from them.
Either I want to be so gentle and kind to anybody, but eventually I protect only myself never be damaged by anything, even like witnessing ones and wear mask on the street, even now.


And after coming back home, I get an ease when I listen to my favorite song alone.
But I don’t thank my never suffering reality, just want to forget my powerless reality, but it doesn’t work, thus I need my favorite songs, with singing singers and writers in choice of me, but their mind is unknown to me, as actually they are. Just I cross my own mind explanation to these songs, with consciousness that I am either so small presence in world, to my favorite songs.


Probably, thanking emotion or hating emotion is truly never wanting to be healed could never be so complex, rather emotionally wanting to heal my own mind at each time could be so complex, and just only one song occasionally appears on my mind with so specific emotional request to listen to them.


How can that choice of my mind brings me about?
I’m anytime in a feeling to be so, when I listen to a song, asking to heaven.


But necessarily only no answer replies to me, just it’d be okay, I’ll never see its reason. That truth makes me have a feeling to want to listen to a song.
It’s proof that I’m never be dead yet.


Fly away, all my unsolved mortifying feeling from me!


But some of them must be left on my mind, never be wiped out forever.
But again, once in a while, please come back to me again, that sad and ennui song for me, just for healing that moment’s my mind remembered by your coming back in oblivion to that feeling with lazy repetition on my future days!
(Mar. 16,24th. 2020)