At the matter of fact, life thing could never be carried on not always along with our hoping direction as originally held in mind of us so personally, never yet anytime unexpected uncertainty overshadows our own life, nevertheless, anybody is actively alive and unexpectedly has no unnecessary anxiety around what that life goes on.
At this reality, rather spending own life days so arbitrarily according to each time's emotion, idea, curious mentality or so, just never contemplating nor deeply thinking so much, to me, this country people particularly older generation ones could be seen so, and that is not so bad thing, anytime when I have a mind with that question as "Are truly this country's people happy?", I conclude so. Why I thought so is caused from my recent spending days, because I've been engaged in jewelry sales usually to mainly very older generation ones, particularly the married couple at husband's or wife's birthday from wife or husband, then my recent days have been relatively so stably calmed at keeping my own mentality or so.

Today's P〇ris’s weather is not hotter than usual year,nevertheless, summer is hot.

By the way, I got letter from Tanordinary mailing from Tanya as Tatiana who stayed in R🔲ussia. that was the first time I got her it since we separated mutually. But I was too busy to read it several days for my business I returned to ordinary routine not spying activity, then I remembered my receiving her letter, I read it. In her letter, she told me that she immediately contacted her older acquaintance immediately after she came back to her home country as her first heading place , and she asked her country's those days' situation specifically political it, but she felt that so many ordinary citizens were seen so tired at engaging themselves in talking or debating around that country's thing, except particularly active ones around radical political idea holders.
At that connection she met that ex-C🔲A personel whose exposure and criticism to his country made him go out from his mother country S🔲nt Pe🔲sburg as С🔲кт-Пе🔲бург, as his familiar underground bar at that city, he first made exile to Tanya's home country, but his interest and his radically righteous indignation was never extinguished so plainly, then he sometimes had met that city's new comer as Tanya was coming from another city in her country, she was born in Vl🔲divostok and until she got aged thirteen, she was staying at her mother country, but her father's job causing emigration with his all family got either her to settle P🔲ris R🔲ssian ethnic indetified ones' town.
Anyway her letter to me had so precisely written discription all around her recent situation, and that her writing stance made me that time so touched.

I sometimes, like these, had recollective time around her, but at one moment of kind of that time, I recalled my last day in I🔲rael when I was about to fly from T🔲l Av🔲v Airport to P🔲ris. Tanya's thing could drag association in my mind. Two recollective matters seemed to cross together, occasionally.
I once separated Tanya but since that time, my days I'd spent were about 10months and a half or so. Necessarily this year's Easter was for the first time to me, the absence of her in church and eating eggs and having lunch or so since I'd met her in that church.

That girl as P🔲rlestinian indentified profile and I were at so cheaper business hotel's small rounge sitting the chair mutually face to face. After I asked her,"What made you call me that time?", she immediately responded my question, saying, "You looked so nice sugar daddy, you to me looked like Machine Gun kelly."
To her unexpected funny answer, I just one moment was surprized at her reaction, but soon I took back my reason, and said to her again, "That U🔲's famous Rocker and Rap tasty singer and songs writer as genius one, I also know, it makes sure I sometimes am told that my profile looks like him, really, he is so popular star, isn't he?"
To my saying, she said soon "Yes, he's so cool, my friends are all enchanted by his stage performance." I not pausing that conversation's running "That's my honor to be told so to me, but he is so younger but I am probably almost his two times age I've got already, you know!"
"So what?" she abruptly replied to my that saying.
So stark woman thing is so boldly to any man's so blank emotion, that must never discriminate age older, she obvioously said next moment to me, "At the matter of fact, I'm virgin though I want you to take my it here." I was at the matter of fact, she looked beautiful and was attracted to her but my reason tried to control it, but my looking girl was either genuinely one woman. I've been convinced to her presence at the time in cheaper hotel, really I took one room with her.

I was together with her in small bad at that cheaper hotel. She wanted to know true adult man, because she had not experienced that thing until that time, she confessed me that she was half P🔲rlestinian with his father and half I🔲raeli, her parantes was falling in love so out of the blue, and eventually going against any resistration around their marriage, and two started to settlle a little remotedly located from G🔲rz🔲, consequently they escaping from bullying from any both fellow and local community people, eventually two were helped by one so successful Arabic citizen who established the firm business after going to the U🔲A from S🔲ria and after coming back to that country, he decided to establish the company not only that but also he was concerned also with U🔲RWA's relevant intelligence collecting company managed by one U🔲A  citizen activist, after resignation of former general company, her father escaping from any bullying from his fellows and habitants started to work at the office with his introduction to the office, really I witnessed some bruised parts at her body probably caused from thrown stone or so as if  انتف🔲ض🔲 Intif🔲d🔲, Intef🔲d🔲h, Intif🔲d🔲h🔲s could be reproduced not only her parents but also to her, the time she pressed me to hug her as adult woman,(She stripped her all clothes in front of me, in spite of my declining to her ardent request, saying " I'd continued to crave for losing vergin by so nice adult sugar daddy like Machine Gun kelly!" spontaneously, by herself) but I pretended not to be noticed to these, and just she craived me to insert her because I intentionally, "Only showing you true adult man's one, but only it could be given to you, nver doing more than so harder, I must be revenged by your father you know." saying so I offered my hardened it to her face, and I intended to give it sucked by her, but necessarily I intended to limit her request not to be surpassed more than it, thus I caressed her body's any part, from shoulder, breasts, each rubber nipple, naval, and to her it, with my lips, tongue, occasionally hands so at softned touch sometimes, she said me that she was university student as 19 years old, at capital of that country, she first was not moving making her body touched by me leaving me to do so discretionally for me, however, suddenly subjectively fell from herself to the bed on her back, and at the same time grabbed my body and knocked it down, as soon as doing all so fast, she forcedly made me have my body forcibly postured to insert her, and whispering beside my left ear saying, " Never mind, I'd gotten pill, thus take it easy and come in me!"
Certainly after inserting her secret garden (otherwise half forcibly taken to her it by her spontaneity, I had hesitantly hurrying to deny her request trying to take it out from her body, but she tried to make my body not to leave her it with her hands making these so strongly pushed to my back ardently pressing me come into her. I out of the blue yelled "Hey, what the hell are you doing?" but my it was coming into her autonomously reacting her craiving, I could not stop that all motion.

At the moment, I for so short second, got my reminiscence to older days about my first time with Tanya, and more very older past days for me at my cherrybody aged days' various experiences and in those days, the thing accidentally I met so beautiful younger girl when I was late teen and that experience would drag my meeting Tanya by chance or so, I for a short second had that idea at the bed with her, and certainly I admitted her ethnically half indentity as well to me as J🔲w, half her it in grimacing expression at acme, nevertheless ordinarily her it was seemed almost only P🔲rlestinian.

(to be continued)

Aug. 9th.     2021