We all are not only heading for leaving descendant.
Leaving all to descendant must have sacrifice to own happiness at anyone who tries to do so.
Eventually, our life essentially relies only on that tradeoff.

To us as alive presence at breathing in and out, our even supeficial only carnally flesh and meat in biorhythm could be so vaital, if someone could deny it, the one must be cheating at pretending to be saint.

Just we can be known to that contemporary society means nervous fight at pretending to be modest suppressing own desirable expression to anybody at full-throttled energy abundance.

Which we could smartly do so well or not is to some extent, our dead or alive at being evaluated and surviving at secured happiness or no problematic safety!

However, to anybody, very freshened youth body must never go back to anybody, once aged, nevertheless, we mentally want satsifying it frequently, and contemporary social temptation could instigate anyone’s mind to be dragged into that illusion!

Necessarily, very exceptionally, not abandoning any own pleasure and either leaving many descendant so personally, the kind of case could be anywhere, nevertheless, nobody has immortal time and life fact.

Certainly youth, being younger, are so wonderfully at having no enemy, but that span is to anybody so short, any replaceable asset to us could never reproduced.

By the way, certainly very touched thing in our daily life is often so done at short time and only very momentary to us, and that thing could be forgotten from anybody, so necessarily.
Why we personally love very shortened touched monent in daily daiys for us personally must be caused from to us what any miraculous moment must exist for switching any lazy our own running consciousness and cut all past persistence in our mind, in other words, we could be so surely known to that only killing all beautiful persistence to all past done and gone things, then we necessarily need so absolute farewell to these, and for it, probably very commonly impressive moment sometimes appears to us, you agree!

That thing must teach us that we eventually can get only incomplete reality and our daily life aspect, and in it how we can find out so supreme moment and mind to it.

Eventually, only now at each moment could make us convinced that any other dimensional thing means less than it, and to us, onw tangibly supreme moment is anytime present at our fragile wish to next momentary advent in kind of fantasic idea, though questing the kind of it must prove that to us, what makes us conscious about now is only our tangibly conceived and perceptive flesh and meat, because brain, heart or anything must be composed with these matrialized things.

Thus, questing so touched moment at mentally, spiritually, and bodily, tangibly, all our accpetance could belong to our own persistant questing mind probably made by our each memory.

Wishing only supremely tangible moment accompanying reality is perfect fantasy our subconscious memory mnkes us in mind.
Now must mean that all we need is intrinsically our never abandoned wish to our life’s duration at any ligering attachment to us.

In other words, if only now everlastingly lasts at our consciousness, so completely in wished perfection, even getting everything lost could be no problem, that is our true mind.

Anyway, being healthy is physically conditional goodness to us, the most vital and utmost but minmally indespensable wish, even if the thing could never be shared to anybody at no discrimination.
Even to be known to it of us, personally, if smoothly any that wish could be done to us, we soon forget any uneven that sharing to anybody, and even sinful desirable mind could be made by our lazy mind, that iteration is not so rare to anybody.
Any mother could be affectionalte only to own children, that so natural selfish mind could not suffer from any denouncement, so sicially.

Though, in terms of our normally thought ideal, embodiment at reality must have any incompatibilty with both mindfully ethical level and satidfied bodily carnal level.
Because any our mindful sense of wonder makes us known eventually all these miraculous moment must be secured only accompanying all bodily healthy condition to us, with good flesh, meant at being tangbile evey so nice feeling.

Eventually at duration of smooth running at being healty, to us, only it could be wiched at our mind so personally and selfishly, and that reality must never be replaced by our any ethical mind taking any other one’s missfortune account of our justice.

Only never compatibilty at bodily happiness at physically seen ideally to us and absolute justice regarded idea in mind could be known to us, at any occasion.

So, actually I don’t wait for anything, even what I regard as so just and appropriate at justice and ethics, because it has no guarantee at my spending life running by itself!
At waiting for the ideally embodied world, either my life must end.
At depressed moment, there’s a mind either for me that my these ideas could never be understood by anybody but the one who could never win anybody in world, necessaily, that could be so perfect illusion to me, I know it so well, but either that mind could never slip away from mine.

And probably, that anxiety is unexpectedly indwelling either at my mind, so naturally, and otherwise the ones like that kind of me must try to diffuse anything in life as annoyably unsolved anxiety, at having any ecstatic rejoice, and that would be so sadistic excitement and would be so erotic and amorously carnally pleasured it or so.
(to be continued)

July 13.,15,Aug. 6.,10.,11th. 20211