I don't want my own self-centered happiness, nor do I want my own interests.

But I do not always want everyone but me to be happy, but at best I want only the people I love, even if I am not too happy, rather than myself being happy.

Only yourself is satisfied and happy, after all, it is unbearable with it.

Of course, in order to pray and wish for the happiness of all mankind, I know that there are also many evils that I can not tolerate, and I sometimes think that they want to die, even want to die, but I am not always controlled by such feelings.

Even if you are somewhat unhappy, if you are only happy with the people you love, you will only think and feel that it is much better than being happy only by yourself.

At least I think that it is very normal, but I can imagine that there will be people living with completely different ideas. But such a concept is not something that is in demand for me at least. Because if what you believe in yourself is not even trampled on, then the rest is not so important.

Words are also a device that utters meaning, but it is also a familiar thing. But when I think that familiarity should not be elevated to a fanatic religion, I am an ordinary righteous person, and I am so snobbish that I can not think that I can give up my life for its ideals and ideals.

Just as it cannot be said that any language is the best, it cannot be said that any ethnic group, ideology, philosophy, or sensibility is superior.

But of course you should not live even if you abandon your familiar sensibilities at all.It is a kind of force majeure in life.

So certainly I think that only knowledge is not everything, but I do not think that there is no need for knowledge at all. But even if there is no knowledge, there can be precious thoughts. It seems that it is something like love that is not a profit or loss account. Of course, it is not hard to imagine the shape, but rather depends on whether or not you can meet individual examples in your life.

I'm sure humans are not so strong as to be able to leave all their feelings behind and survive, so that's fine.

But even so, I don't think that only my feelings are always the top priority and everything, and I don't want to think.

But sometimes there are people who take such mistakes, and even if they witness them, I do not think that it is difficult to forgive them immediately. Of course, exceptional things can happen to me, but I have not experienced them yet. So when I encounter such a person, I do not know how I will act now. If a person appears to do such an outrageous thing to himself, I can't even imagine what I would think of that person.

However, if you can live a life that is mediocre and not too much contact somewhere, I think that it is still good. The ideal is also in its realization to the last. So I don't want to end up with an ordinary person too much, but I do not think that I want to continue being a very epoch-making person.

However, I am only beginning to realize that it is surprisingly difficult to complete a normal life. Well, I can only say that for now. But the idea has never changed at any time, and I can't say that it is a lie now.

Jan. 10th.     2022