Knowing secret for getting sucess makes me some unindetified enigma, that is "what does mean knowing? Otherwise understanding?"

Everything could go wel more and more, anything could go so unknown more and more.

What we usually could know so well is prone to make us fall into very sadistic distress around what makes us continue like this, and moreover our true reason to do the same thing is increasing our own uestion, "for what we must continue the same thing?"

Knowing so well beloved one, what does that mean to us?

Necessarily nobody tries to tell me that reaspon, nevertheless, we usually could not stop that doing.

Occasionally at the matter of fact, I get an emotion in getting lost everything, that mind is not so rare, never yet truly I have very frequently.

After all, any effectively convincing answering voice to any my enigmatic distress as the best solution for diffusing my all uestions are not found, though, I sometimes get sleep, and try to forget all annoyable mind attending maze.

Yes, at the kind of moment, I craivingly want and need Angels' smile to me from the bottom of mind, that is me, at the matter of fact, it is my life, you see.

Actually everything goes so well in no questioning, nevertheless, sometimes everything goes so not so well, even goes so worse, that could be warning to me, as if the matter whispering beside my ears, "If you are so forever, your life must have irreplaceable dead-lock, you do the same thing, you must have so unfortunate crush from any angle for your doing place.

Yes, in mazing at discerning some voice's identity which is Angel's it or Satan's one, I anytime decide any voice by my side must be converted to my Angel, even if it could be Saran's it, only changing everything my Angel, that is my ultimate detemination.

Questining must make us so bigger distress and purplexed emotion, nevertheless, we have to advance to future, for breaking through for going ahead to unknown goal.
If we abandon all our those questioning, we must have so many malicious Satan's tricking ill-natured deadlock, though we could not stop all our trials.

After all, also I try to get everything started again, nevertheless nothing could have been solved in my mind, but only in answeting any question takes so time waste, then I try to cut some so precise procedure, at that time occasionally rather everything goes so well unexpectedly, but simultaneously on the contrary everything is crushed so completely, nevertheless I'd neither abondon, forsake my own future, just decide going ahead to next phase in my life.

In these so long very tortured vonyage, very sometimes I could feel some flowers so beautiful, even if it'd not so fragrantly bloomed them, that's no problem, and that time, I feel I am happy at surviving my life.

Yes, sometimes, for knowing, understanding all so well, why don't we give up otherwise occasionally plainly forsake any questioning so daringly? That would be my the best answer toward my so persistent question.

Dec. 7th.       2021