Actually, I have only poor ability to protect my own life in happiness, though so awkward one in world, probably, but one thing to me, either, perhaps, even at so really fierce ages, only so romantic touching emotion to own mind must be the most integurally we'd never want to lose anymore, you know.

Why I now think so must be reasoned with my life's own character I'd be obliged to accept was just as one very irreplaceable meeting and encounter was suddenly undone by any kind of irresistible force.

Then, consequently at any wonderful opportunity must have disturbed by any kind of ill-natured malice by any factor with both human reason and accidentally generating reason.

After all, since one period in my life, only very self-protective conservative human relationship adopting days started in my life, I became so strongly skeptic to any seen kind ones, I felt my mind was awoken to satanic mind.

I changed to be so aggressive one switching any kind of gentle my nature toward any other one.

In other words, I met so many wonderful ones in my life, but simutaneously so bad and maliciously wicked ones in the same volume and numbers.

Since one period in my life span, obviously I wore own self defense harsh stance to anybody.
I got my strategy not to discriminate anyone so specifically in no taking any kind or gentle approaching way and mode applied to any other one.

However, according to that my habitual mind days' increasing the time volume, gradually only very healing tasty romantic fictional world message must have attracted my true mind, my life heading direction obviously changed at those days.

And, unexpectedly at least to me, each day's weather must impact at least in terms of motivating mind seducing kind of emotionally suit must tell me that very sunny and pleasant air and temparature day makes me write novel so easily and wet and very unpleasantly humid day makes me so logically necessary ideas and so seriously honest essays in naturally dragged emotional temptation in no obvious reason to me.

Inv other words, at some day, i made up my mind never to go against each day's physically forcible condition daringly for running in made naturally schemed temparature and weather compulsory reality and earnestly obeying that naturally made condition's running.

Simply, I perfectly quitted any going against any physically binding condition at some day, or those days, you know.

And just only so myth tasty and fictional world in taking any beautiful vocaburaly or so must gain ground in my writing stance reglating days.

(Irregurarly to be continued)

May. 13th.   2022

Appendix; at some term I quitted so decisively will and intention keeping so strong mind strategy so plainly obeying each day's own emotional mode and mood, so naturally and honestly. Simply I relinquish any desperate effort sustainable method so intentionally and so consciously from one specified term in my writing career relatively lately.
In other words, I forsook only strictly scheduling and planning method in taken scheme for sustaining my creative writing stance.
Though, necessarily nowadays I have no strict aim nor object for keeping my creative activity so honestly.