I used to be purplexed with so many things and have had spent so many sleepless nights, and it could be so nostalgic to now me, coz I miss even felt so dizzy night, in having so never awkward life in world.

Having mind pain must never be so unwelcome to me, still now, coz it definitely could never be so negative for surviving.

Hey, you know what you’re doing now, don’t you?

But a littel bit you’d be clazy if your hope now you’re with will be broken.

In having even so sometimes a littel so dizzy headed night, in life, we’d never immediately be dead so easily.

Even very cheaper idea or kind of commonplace thought could be a little help to our own tomorrow, rahter extremely radical idea could stumble our own calm days, that sort of it could be held only at very exceptional case. Coz we are, to some extent, all so cheap trip mania, you know!

Judging everything in very convenient way and never having all mind issues so solved completely, who deny that thing so easily?
Coz we are never the Lord.

Sometimes, we should help to each other, but at another time, we should never intervene with each other, there’s a time I want to listen to only so dry and coolly blunt songs, either the night I want songs heard to me in never sleeping so well, that time songs are unexpectedly anarchily pessimistic sad songs or so, rather they could cheer my feeling caused from my insomnia, it must be drawn by my irrational feeling toward what we all are regulated by society or world trend. Very distorted sadness or biassed reaction to all things in world are apt to pull sung trend so anarchily violent, it could be seen or heard so sentimentally sad, but it must be so nihilisitic and irresponsibly outrageously desperado taste emotion.

That never so stiffly fixed emotional mood in midnight or so cloudily windy but humid daytime with laziness in mind and body could be expression in no lying so honest feeling, that time has no cure nor treatment, all things must be dealt with own arbitrary idea and act.

Now world itself is surrounded by that kind of anxious cloud and misty vage smoke fogs. coz we all are never known to own future as privately nor publicly, actually these two things are never separable nor divided mutually. On the contrary, if we perfectly can know own future so minutely and precisely, how could we survive that kind of life thing?

Thus, even if we attempt all things done so well perfectly, eventually that all doing must be just so whimusically incomplete so far, otherwise probably until we personally die someday, for the present we just choose any occasion to select each best thing, all acts would be obliged to be arbitrarily capricious.
There’s a night we want to listen to so personally elegic or sad songs, or sentimentally moody music with song or so, you know, but at the same time, very artificially mechanic and but so certainly ceremonially occasional solemn songs as misa or hymn, gospel chorus or so.

Tomorrow never knows, neither future even just next moment nor next day as tomorrow, so with precision expectation or presumption.

By the way, or otherwise, I’d never have rigidly precise schcedule nor so cenrtainly obvious object, neither, so completley, never yet so lazily incomplete disicion only would be accompanied with us so privately, honest speaking there, you know!

Even if that stance could be accompanied with us so intentionally, at least to me, I could never be completely anarchy nor insane, but neither so clever nor so smart, or so decissive, eventually all what I’d act in future is very accpording to the time’s trend or atomosphere, that would be never lying truth to me now.

Thereby, if I would be mad or so, only mad house must be suitable for that moment’s me, and that moment either must wait for me certainly.

Not so creative idea, not so impressively fantastic idea, not so unique idea, not so smart idea, all of these, I’ll welcome all so honestly at each moment I’d welcome.

Even, commonplace or cheaperly carnal absurd hope or so would be accepted by that time me, presumably what we’ve persisted in could be the most unwelcome and the most escapede acts for me, although I either will engage in them all so honestly and rather absorb in these so fanatically and passionately, and even from them, somewhat so undiscovered unique something must be outputted or drawn to that time me, either.

Although being with these never so wise reality, we should never punish us by ourselves so rigrously, we must leave everything God’s judge so honestly, coz we all are never the Angles, nor just only meek sheep or so, neither.
Let’s do all things so according to each time occasional situation to us, so personally, so easy!

Even if we’d make an effort to doing so, so diligently, we’d have so painfully dizzy night, at own our head, mind, heart, or so, and that’s so natural, coz everything must never be carrried so along our own hope, and only it must be our common reality, you know!
We must accept even the days we’d never miss anything, at the matter of fact, now me is so, of course anything which is so possitive in future prospect, or negative never knows, eitrher it could be the truth for us all.
(Jun. 30th. 2020)