Probably, time by itself can never be consciously awakened, but rather to us, anytime, so vaguely own body and sensing to any external happening thing and still thing in watchable eyes or so, but simultaneously anytime either memory just a minute ago into gradually a time ago, one day ago, that recession made reality, that means also constantly a little bit moment ago in awareness is absolutely switched from former to later and appearing something instantly means disappearing other thing as a little moment ago just emerged but soon it eaither hides itself, in turn, endlessly until we personally die. 

Though anytime, time itself can be only constantly anybwatchable scenery landscape switchable at not forevermore still thing in fact impossible, though rather any concept as forever never switched means only totally whole changed in constancy as whole spect's notional grasping only catches itself never changing of anytime changing in changed as awareness only tries to only still in even changing, never changed state must never come to us, that twisted reality in affirmative cognition makes us own "constancy" and in it, we are given as one present thing as being in world, though if absolutely never changed state could be sensed by us, that means we are already dead, but how could dead consciousness sense something, certainly we can question, like this, but really that awareness must never be known until we die. And after dying personally, at least at each my own it could be known. But that was never confirmed as long as we are personally alive. 

Though time means anytime no existing only our consciousness can follow each movable changed consition, in mobilizing memory, we can know each thing in transition and gradually changed, but time by itself can be constantly only notion, and memory object so frequently convertible, and to total led reality, just we can define it merely recollecting or remembering or so. 

Though, intrinsically constantly future picturing mind must be mobilized at past phenomenal memory abiding reference in mind, though so strictly future picturing essentially relies only on past and its memory around gradually changed at one identity as we can indicate at each occasion. 

And, nevertheless past and future are never symmetrically positioned because anytime future yet existing, but past already done and passed in nothing as mutually essentially perfectly different, none the less, simultaneously if we regard now as center positioned item, both past and future as nothing we can equivalently regard both items simultaneously, but that awareness is merely notion, nevertheless, that notional share in our mind is never so small at being cognitive mind and idea. 

(Irregularly continued)

Sep. 10th.    2023