My right hand has disordered state these days for so long period. Because it is pcycogenic.  

In other words, when I was 27years old, I very strongly hit old days those old days one benefactor almost murdering him which was caused from his humiliating words to my lover, that was consequently influenced my mentality around my those days lover's daughter between me.  

My own it pcycogenicly has traumatized conditioned around rejecting of gripping it, because again I'd use it to any other guy, I absolutely will be confined in jai as long prisoner I will serve for compensating my whoie sin. He was art teacher at junior high school, but when I met him, he was my senior high school art teacher.  

Nevertheless, my left hand is not having any disorder nor numb. Because I was Southpaw, though, necessarily I evaded at using my left hand for my own instinctive protection around not losing my it own power for violent act causing remorse. 

After all, after I strongly hit his face forefront surface, several months later, I accidentally met him again, his hair was becoming all so whitened. Because he had both physically and mentally traumatized heavy stress, in the end, he was dead at his 66year old summer or autumn as lung cancer with long yeas heavy smoking habit and liquor drinking.  

After all, my left hand has no disabled condition as normal one. And at the worst my life suffering, I won't use it for hitting the offending one's own face, I will keep it at no using for violent act in my life.

  

Nevertheless I have many ones as whose face deserves to be hit. I won't use it at least for violent act, unless the one tries to rob me of my life itself.

(Irregularly continued)

Sep. 13th.  2023

Appendix; The art teacher whose center and nose I strongly hit violently was ever loving me so much,  for him I was the ideal student, though he didn't claim to any police organization around his damaged accusations to me, though at least at the event, I was evading to be arrested by police.