I recollected Charlie Craig said to me through his terminal as remote formed conversation with screening mutual faces, the content is like next. 

"After all, J◯p◯n◯s◯ are intending to make their own view narrowed only to themselves, daringly making any other nationality one none, that view will make them all squeaky other one in narrow minded in daily life, because they almost are never Christian."

His claim was convincing also to me, because I was not J◯p◯n◯s◯. And certainly, his request to my moving into his team was never so bad condition, at least at the dimension around reward satisfactory it, but I had engaged myself in this mission task persecution, thus if I was ally to him, my life will be the perfect denial to justice and our own conscience. 

Nevertheless, very exceptionally even that idea accompanying my mind could move to unstably irritated and composed mind diffusing temper can be made at his wicked temptation, and that moment, always I had questioned on me, what made me feel so?
Otherwise, I don't love my own mission job, and the idea was certainly never false, but truth.  I in conclusion had the idea consequently. Thus my recollection to Tanya was strengthened so much day by day. After losing her around any easily facing, meeting and talking in my life was precipitating into some very severely colder winter. 

To some another value extent, we certainly had no stiff nor no obvious reason to continue these days serially addressed mission task duty so reasonably, just my own human network building faculty was those days bought so preciously at least to C◯A crews, nevertheless, to me, despite of my guarantee was never so demerit around next job seeking after necessity, but to my own idea, some empty feeling could drift around my formalized justice idea, and the stiff certainty even could be squashed at a stretch. That hunch was never diffused from my another idea stocking mind. 

Sophia was temporarily took her long vacation until she safely had delivery to her child between Vito, thus she once returned to her country Afgh◯n◯st◯n. Anyway her body state was never so bad, far from it, pregnancy and delivery prepared control and state were so better, thus any other crew had celebrated her returning home and we had temporary farewell party at T◯ky◯ suburban zone, K◯y◯s◯ city's some uniqueness attending local community center. Vito's parents in J◯p◯n will have her at their affectionate treatment around after her delivery to their own child, Vito and Sophia will have relatively peaceful and easy days probably whole their own lifetime together, and that was also my one happiness. Sophia was contributing more than a year and half a year and Vito was doing a year and four months. 

And with those things around me were made to all us, my own dispatched missioned work expiration day will come near to me, in frank, that my idea those days were visibly conscious in any my facing reality. That will mean my farewell to all crews of my operation and our common enemy and arresting object person Charlie Craig as well. His very dry and severe poisonous tongue were very definitely stimulating my own nervous mind and those his skeptical wicked idea as rogue boss for global syndicate must have made me own fighting spirit, because that own survival race abiding mutual relation must have made me own fighting spirit and very exciting mind for battling to each other, that is definitely men but very mutually tough men fighting battle Royal field and that survival harsh race and lawless competition, we could say so to each other. He frequently said to me through remotely trespassing own my terminal monopolization with his own ironical and skeptical talk content at smearing my own justice keeping effort by villain sided opinion, "Fundamentally, your very long term staying that J◯p◯n has no truly justice and fairness, because the country basically is never meritocracy but only local kinship society, though basically your staying country has only sightseeing business global value and that own income anticipatable reality, but my U◯A and your Fr◯nc◯, or so are rudimentary different, from the beginning, starting position and signification is deifferent, John Locke philosophy applicable nation and own ethnic cultural country in gap makes us have own basically implicit discriminable mindset. Thus now your staying country situation and reality are probably only sightseeing business phase abiding integrity is laid in front of you, and that doesn't mean globally influential idea, thinking dimension, at least only investing profit expectable dimension, only that fact must thrust your own mind, because you are the one whose great ancestors include also Jean Jacques Rousseau, Lune DesCartes, and many superior contemporary intellectual giants legacy attending own greater country citizen, aren't you? You either are Post Modern eras ideas attending etranger, aren't you?"

His occasionally continuing own “Language abusif" as my country language term as Abusive language was certainly thrusting my own nervous spirit and sensing antenna. But simultaneously I anytime feel that I was only tested by very his wicked irninical despising mentality as his own position was very higher than me, that very ironically but necessarily disrespecting his own malicious dirty allegory was certainly unpleasantly felt to my own Herat string and my own justice abiding idea, in frank those are very extreme insult to my own mind. He constantly challenged me as he was constantly upper class and mine was only so low class citizen, that very unpleasant despising idea and insult were anytime inserted in his saying to me at his own candid tone in cold blooded no humanism included attitude and behavior to me. Thus, in hearing his egoistic conversation, I sometimes had own impulse as wanting to kill him so mercilessly with gun or so. 

His own wicked constitution instigated so long period my own battling and fighting instinctive mind, heart and brain. As my the last mission, I didn't want to be defeated by his own conspiracy anymore. I sweared in my mind so strictly also to Lord, I will absolutely arrest him and make him punished by jurisprudentially formal judgement by court. 

(Irregularly continued)

Feb. 15th.    2024