Blog for Lovely Helen

novel, essay, poetry, criticism, diary

No Promised Land Part1/ Propositional new series of the poetry as mother country's history and culture, words. 

That country had no God, no rules of rooted rudiment or cardinal law with no swing, no promise, anyway.


That country has been rooted to primitive nature belief.


But it always hasn’t been any rigid rule originates in class or hierarchy.
Habitants in that country have always relied on for the time being decision at each chance to address with something.
Thus, its country in historical truth had needed anytime it was so suffering, only with external pressure, some so radical and so rooted indeological reformation must had been done all over its nation as local countries.


That country had kept nothing but amenity of home and easiness to hold no doubt toward the other person only in trust, it must had been consistently so official and only formal, not so honest, coz they had had any God in their minds.
Then true freedom or true individualism is absent, utterly and absolutely in historically even just the once.


In this country, anything is just only expedient, never have any conclusion.
Cos conclusion is always the thing which must be exclusive and ulitimate, but its country’s people believe nothing but relativeness, they had had never any concept nor notion of absoluteness.


Namely the country has had any need to be with individual and private, coz that thing must had been held only by symbolical existence as the sole pedigree, any people must had obeyed that orthodoxicalized pedigree, and worship only it, so implicitly, of course anytime usually the people of that country must never tell anything about it, but never they show explicitly but implicitly they all believe in that unwrriten law from the bottom of their hearts.


Thus, in society, every decision depends only on arbitrary discretion.
Every member is controlled only by subejective restriction or voluntary restraint.
Only, just velocity of reformation is consistently so high, but at that chance seldom comes to its country, so about once in several hundred years as several centuries.


By the way, wel, how they in that country has held their private love?


(to be continued)
(Fundamentally inspired of any my mother contry’s situation, I noted a memo realized at this poem’s first four paragraphs at June 7th. 2018, and additionally written as remained parts as latter at Jan. 6th. 2019, today)

Escape Road Part 21 Junchansan


After waking up with steady consciousness, Mat was unable to know his location, as where he was under detention, but he could smell all around the atmosphere of the space, coz it stank so much filled with strong stink of cow dung and he knew that he was in custody in the some kind of grazing cattle ranch or so, coz his uncle was working that kind of ranch, and he often visited his work when he was infantile, he thought that was silo or so, and he was under detention also with being putting in chain as iron, then at his wrist and ankle, he strongly felt the pain and watching those places of his body, he knew that fetter robbed him of fleeing from there, he was set to be laid on the fodder or hay, feed or dungs or so, all mixed together his nose and eye’s numbness coz of long unconscious drive by gangster’s violent driving.
Necessarily his smartphone was steeled by someone of their members, but that time was about afternoon, only it was assured of him at that moment.
He had headache, probably he was hit by their gangsters in lesson to make him know that his resistance must have never being completely effective toward them, and he deliberated how to escape that situation.
But yet that time was never so darker, but if night has come, these areas were so darkened, he easily could imagine that matter.
He first discovered his stomach’s bloody condition, and he put his hand so gently to the most painful parts, if he was in the hospital, he must had blamed anyone who are connected with his cure, and claim the painkiller, he was never so patient, coz he had never so lose the battle with anybody, but that time was so different.
He once checked his condition in range of the capability to move his body for escaping that endangered situation.



Meanwhile, after disposing disgusting odor Spanish speaking middle-aged guy, Mrs. Elegance was unendurable to that situation with bloody stink of his corpse for a long time, but she was also the bound by roped with pillar of jail like barn, then she for the time being was trying to hide her using minigun to kill him, if somebody was getting back to check her condition out and she considered how she was making excuse to make that happening to be guided to her to the criminal of her abduction at that time.


At that time, two guys with next boss of General of the syndicate of Shocker walked around the aisle in the ranch facility and when they came near the place Mrs. Elegance’s detention was set by them, they were noticed with so strange condition and next boss was saying to his subordinate guy,
“What is hell stink of this?”
Then, next boss’s accompanied man said to next boss,
“It is the blood smell!”
With being sure of it, they suddenly change the speed of walking so fast and rushed to the place they bounded her with barn pillar and they shouted at the scene around the Mrs. Superintendent’s detention, Spanish speaking Puerto-Rican at his forehead shot penetrated with gun and so much and his corpse coz of loss of blood and parts of shot at his body.
“What hell were you doing to him?”
As soon as next boss admitted her presence at that place and asked her with so strong voice to blame.
She desperately at a short period, output a good idea and she, improvising with quick judging and said to him,
“When I waked up few minutes ago, that man was fallen already and at the moment I was sure of it, he had no breath and that blood sea, I was noticed soon.”


Listening to her confessing all the next boss was grimacing his face and with doubtful eyes and said to his subordinate.
“Rummage some suspicious thing around here and there, soon!”
With next boss’s order, that man was desperately slashed that jail like space’s fodder and materials around it, and after several minutes, he found out the minigun probably she used to kill him, and took it to next boss, and next boss was so strongly hit her face and with his fist, he stuck her head, and shouted,
“What a strange trial you took here!”
And for a while he gazed at her face and around her neck and nape, her amorous atmosphere he was noticed to, and he suddenly kissed her lips forcibly and tried to take her body laid completely for hugging and rape her and he simultaneously ordered his man,
“After I shove her in so deep, you, excavate her anus together with me.” he ordered him to go along with for only pleasuring with her body, coz he was so busy to do the syndicate violent work for example the torture to the transporter who was killed by them and he got lost his chance to hug woman,
And he violently peeled her dress and took her skirt up for making her naked, and cooperating with him, his man together helped his illegal and so outrageous savage action trying to take off his pants, suddenly that door opening sound was echoed to that space, coz General Shocker came into that place for checking the condition of her in custody, and he witnessed his men two’s illegal and shameful performance and behavior, he took his pistol with his pants and shot the head of next boss and next he shot his gun toward the waist of next boss’s man, then next boss was falling with no voice so silently and his head was emitting his blood so much and his blood stream was crossed to the fore killed Spanish speaking guy’s corpse and his blooding blood together, Next boss’s man was shouting so much with screaming voice, with no words.
Beside him, his ordering near raping man would unable to love women but General Shocker was allowing only his life coz he was ordered by next boss, just only so, then he would be unable to walk so easily and have a sure relation to woman but it was just reaping what he sowed, he thought but he did never explained it to her, there.
At the matter of fact, his man as called next boss was losing the impulse of raping her in no suppressing his instinctive it and reckless action, and at all sequel of that scene, Mrs. Elegance was screaming all the moment with that process.
She truly was regretful to kill middle-aged Spanish speaking guard to her, but it was so quick response to his almost near raping posture to gaze at her waist and her center parts of her body of her underbody taking his tongue out of his mouth, she was confirmed it then her hand automatically moved to take her button of her set minigun, but at that time that General Shocker shot his next boss murdered was utterly different incident also to her, and with its witnessing all she was never endurable to keep silence mentally and physiologically, of course her action to push her button of her setting minigun was the same, so physiologically along that man’s moving of his body.
Terrorist General Shocker was saying so composedly to her who was near raped by that killed next boss,
“That guy who was never having sure reason for the emergency deserved to be killed by managing one of the syndicates, or any other organization is the same, at this case, you know.”
He tried to soothe her at so shocking scene for her.



After taking Mrs. Elegance to the room for operating the all members of the syndicate, General Shocker served her a coffee and put the cigarette to the table set, in front of her sitting chair.
Shocker smoked once with his cigarette and said to her,
“In terms of our business, especially managing our syndicate, any discretion was sustained by our belief of justice, despite of our social status as gangster, namely we also are with rules and laws of our own justice.”


Mrs. Elegance was feeling some kind of warmth any that kind of impression she had never held to her husband, and she was noticed by its difference to the man of her husband’s subordinate.
“You are the complete mature beautiful woman, then you can never stand any insufficient kindness from the adult man, coz your husband is so strictly honest man as being a Superintendent of the police organization, with so well known, and manageable one who was so appropriate to be that status, but he was rather than now a little young when you married mutually but now he was so lack of the kindness to make you satisfy your both mentally and physically.
Then you are so suitable to keep so deep relation with me, your new boy taking you to this Puerto-Rico was so immature and so enough to guard you so surely.”
Listening to his saying Mrs. Elegance gradually recovered her reason, and with doing so, she was bit by bit was enchanted by that old but so different typed mature old man with so sturdy and willed character, but she was so anxious about Mat then she asked to General Shocker,
“Where is the man who helped me in these four days, did you abduct him either?”
“I couldn’t tell it to you now, but don’t worry about him, we are never willing to kill him, either of course you too.”
After saying so, General Shocker calmly spoke to her,
“That your husband Superintendent is so busy to do his mission and he just wants to evade any shameful dishonorable suffering around you, just only so, then he promised to make me permitted to keep you so kindly, his that kind of potentiality was no longer so enough, and he implicitly winked me that I would never blame his order but simultaneously he admitted me to treat you so gently and kindly as the woman. Then, surely, he was collapsed with illegal operation or so with connection to the syndicate but, if you connive at our wrongdoings, you would be guaranteed so richer life with me, from this time on, how do you think that kind of our proposal?”
After saying it, Shocker was telling her as if whispering,
“You are so enough ripe lady, I won’t do so bad treatment to you, absolutely, then so carefully should make choice about your future life.”
Listening to his its explanation, she was regarding it as also so threatening speech to her and that impression was expanded more with listening to his next saying,
“What you try to give first choice is the only what you say yes, approval to me, isn’t it?”
Mrs. Elegance was spiritually wanting to deny all of his proposal, but after a long terms of her stoic chastity belt bound life, and fleeing from that detention and next she met Mat and with more additional meeting to General Shocker with so technical manner to the ladies, as making woman so composed with his gentle speaking and calm, composed attitude, she was captivated to his enticement with a little bit a smart of her inner body, she was awoken to the acme getting pleasured life with a little help with Mat’s cooperation for accomplishing her running away from his husband, her body was calling her with horny impulse.
(to be continued)


(Jan. 4, 5. 2019)


Fluffy Venus / poem about mind in every meeting as passing and coming

As well as a mountain with a far distanced with vague image and outline I can see, you are absolutely always here.
But you are shiny and dazzlingly fluffy.


That taste was one I’ve never seen for so old day’s myself, but coz of it, I utterly made it of you a so important my possession of my mind.


The world for everyone is consistently so tough, anyone could desperately pull through everything comes upto you.
If you set on someone’s mind, that enticement is not always so effective to anyone, particularly at the case you’ve left some trauma to the bottom of your heart, you also need another healing for your mind.
Then, around the character along the need to be healed as the object of healing, so diverse each discerned healing must be present.


It is as if so diverse musics are present.
But as concerned to music, habit to listen to it could be easily shifted to another, but chances to be repeled by the object to be needed to be a healing must never be rare. It seldom happens.


Thus, life is so tough to anyone, then we must have a moment to change our own healing element by us by ourselves so privately, if there’s a decision making, we need a bravery, courage and nerve.


And laying down our accustomed faver is so hard desciplene.
But we must confront it too.


We must switch any our own persistency to our own possibility with hope and reviewed ideal.


I will tell you, fluffy venus, I’ve already met, I’ll find another one in my life for my future and your it too.
It could never go well, as if the leaving year and coming year, but I’ll do my best and when I fulfill it, I would be able to thank you again absolutely.
So, every meeting needs a time span or some durable range with considerable spiritual introspection or persistent retrospection.


If I see you again, I’ll kiss you with so honest kindness and thankfulness to your mind and meeting to you, too.


(Jan. 4th. 2019)