Blog for Lovely Helen

novel, essay, poetry, criticism, diary

Mirage Out of the Blue Floating in front of My Eyes Part20

Two days ago, my long period staying this country had regime change, additionally that characterizes malti-parties coalition. But that future prospect is so far so vague. This time was the first time at having A〇ic party’s participation, but from extremely right winged one has so tough criticism.


That running is for the present observable but truly nobody could have prediction.
This year’s R〇adan’s expiration was seemed so silent as usually as the city has with so many pilgrims’ enjoying at eating sweets or so, but that was so necessarily.


Mirage is made by probably one of sensing by Amygdala and its dragging our own memory, because any now’s emotional state could be relevant with own memory.
My it was greyed and no other color was managing my tangibly sensing picture.


My mission at real spot activity was resuming afterward I got so many intelligence and analysis, this day is my go sign day, and that subscribed sightseeing bas was unexpectedly small, and each seat was shielded with plastic transparent boards. But beforehand I also got in the bus, for a while tour male conductor operated all sightseeing tourists including three ones as my inspecting targets.
Waiting time before boarding was for me to have so important devise to all targets, I skilfully walked around them next to next watching my portable city guidebook with each corner’s map, and I took one small splaying tool and that had the devise to collect any small sound with splayed objects as my targeting three ones, I at each one’s shoulder and around it, splayed so silently and not outstandingly, and among each one, after we all got on the small buss after that location’s arrival, any space between each member for secret conversation was splayed with it at my judgement. That nature had even iron or so as so sensing tangibly only so subtle small sound and with that devise I could be heard of their remote and masking conditioned so small voices so clearly with my ear-phone, that pretended to be joined with my portable radio, but truly it was just for the eavesdropping.


After the bus started to serve all tourists with us for formally tourists, they immediately started to have confference, and one so richer CEO of H〇g-K〇g said to C〇nese CEO of Pla〇ed Eco〇my continental empire’s enterprize CEO saying, ” Now this starting regime’s destiny is so far unpredictable, then we need so careful watching, but nowadays, we(ve already gotten so strict hegemony around this country, you know, then this time new so younger Prime Minister’s running posuture should be insected so vigilantly for the present(现在这个开始政权的命运是迄今为止不可预测的,那么我们需要如此谨慎地观察,但现在,我们已经在这个国家得到了如此严格的霸权,你知道,那么这次新的年轻总理的竞选职位应该如此警惕地被保护。).
To it, next, CEO of H〇g-K〇g responded saying, “I see your remarks, but one thing we all are together with US and allies then, partially we’d come together with you, but anytime another strategical view could generate in outputting mutual tough gap, how about you, at this term?” He always used only English, and to it, J〇anese CEO was responding at also English, beside one more first speaking C〇nese CEO’s listening aspect, ” What you two try to claim is so indentified either to me, but rather now so vagely unidentified term at this country is the best opportunity around our profit getting business, you know!”


To all their tactful conversation, my ears and all nerves were concentrating at listening all these words so vigilantly and so carefully at each talk, with my specific interpretation so quickly. My brain making new phased mirage started to whisper to me so slowly but so clearly.


Our using bus was driving at suburban of this country’s capital and capitol functioned zones so slowly and with very impressive rough drought landscape, that associated my nerve so imaginally at description of Book of Exodus.
(to be continued)


Jun. 15th. 2021




 

I Didn't Wanna Let You Down!

Say, once please let you hear my saying, I wanna be heard of my saying to you, I want you heard my saying just once!


Anyway, I didn't wanna let you down.


I'd held an idea to tell you around my old that girl, but now not so younger than ever, now is seemed the best timing, but which you honestly believe in my told thing or not is up to you, eventually only the thing could be left to now me, anyway I just wanna you believe my prefect innocence, at that moment very accidentally she came across you and me on date, coz, I could not get that chance to get her closer to me, until you and I were close together, you know!


She was just very old days' my lover, please believe in my saying honesty!
Only she just smiled to me and started to talk to me, with her so nostalgic emotion, anybody has that mind, you know, but now I have nothing to do with now her, you see!


Thus, please forgive me at my past thing before I met you, and give me one more chance and excuse to rehabilitate your assessment to me, for the present, hey my only pretty girl, please give me an occasion to have an excuse to me for your love to me!


Anyway, I didn't wanna let you down at that time, you know!


But please calm it down and if you regard my age as necessarily as around now me and older days' me, who can have convincing idea around middle aged my past's perfect innocence, and that time you know, I met her by chance and accidentally you were beside me, only that thing happned to us, you see!


Very occasionally I and you met and stayed together, she came through our location.


But honestly speaking, certainly I make sure remember younger days's her was so cute and pretty and very enchanting any boy, you see, I'd never deny it so honestly.


And o out of the blue, she suddenly talked to me beside you at that time. Then, please rehebilitate your idea around me so being generous to me now, please give me one more chance to love you again!


Now I'm never having any remorsful emotion to now her, coz I have no intercourse for so long years, you know, that thing is known to you, you know the thing the most, it make sure my honesty, you know! Coz we parted together so plainly for so long years ago, you see.


You know so well, don't you, just so unexpectedly now she was so beautiful, not so older, only that thing astonished me at the time, you know!


But, either didn't you have so similar affair around your older days' your guy? I don't have any skeptic emotion to now you, just at being younger, anyone has that thing, not so kinky nor so exceptional like me, you know!


Anyway, I didn't wanna let you down, only that thing I wanted to say to you, now!


Then, say, once please let your mind reset around your will to see me again, so honestly I wanna ask you again! Because my honest emotion to you is never remotedly even one second even staying apart from me of you with some circumstance.


Then, please rest your emotion to me again, and I wanna say to you again, I didn't wanna let you down at that moment, you know!




Jun. 15th.   2021



Simply Questionable Truth Part4

Liberal economy at principle evidencing truth must have citizen society's activeness when enonomics' not atabilized at long term with some anxiety threatening situation must have a chance to get some newly phased demand creation, e.g. at new COVID mutation's threat could make all global citizens a competitive devise developping, and rather at so even and wage gap's solution in socially falware enlargement must promise stability but simultaneously competitive power and newly upgraded inventional wisdom and financing dynamism must reduce, that very sarcastic truth must be present at our carnally deployed society.


In other words, at least at liberal economy orthodox regarded societies could have the generally universal truth that socially unstabilized factors and more starving demands flood makes us next upgraded innovative developping must be outputted, on the contrary, as novelists or essaysts could have long term scheduling previously the ones starts the writing, rather only so commonplace content could be made and not freshened glitter could be robbed of their brain and writing skill, in other words, our mind and social acts in public could have very mutually pradoxical truth that very esssentially It is always possible to maintain a tense spirit rather than a place where the game out of place surpasses it, and it is possible to adventurous work rather than conservative.


At the matter of fact, we need change and uncertainty even producing our future's perilous deadlock, and that anxiously held tension and dissatidfaction makes our society and our each personal life a will and actively held fighting spirit which dragges our mind and social modus  ponens the newly demanded researching and pioneering necessity and really mobilized dricing force, namely we subconcsiously make daringly dissatisfaction even on very arranged neatly and so satisfied base we'd gotten already at prior to any now situation.


Cnsequently very long term guaranteed financing and economical assets holding must deprive of starvingly resuming and enaging actuation to our mind, then usually very previously readied specifically wrtitten at a holiday, except very romantic novel or so, generally very commonplace content could be dragged so frequently, then at holidays, writers should take so enough rest, and at starting Monday's resuming cycle, writers should have no schemed adlibing writing, rather that plain routine could go so well.


In other words, liberty's enemy is getting peace of mind at sweeping all uncertain and risky factors, rather when we have personally pressure around how we could do so well at next resuming cycle, just with these so convincing factors, we could say that long period schedule and scheme should be only vague entirely pictured it, not so precisely schemed nor not so well-designed previously, because truly meant plenary categorized schemes could be only offcially authorized, rather anytime only very temporarily done so makeshift devise and that nature relected work could make so good assessment generally at our social sites.


At these exampled inspection, we must judge that socially significant dynamism is made by even at so precisely schemed readiness, rather power executed at so ungently forcibly obliged situation for anyone, that the best example could be comfirmed at any competition of any kind of sports and IGO and SHOGI, or CHESS game playing tornament by professional ones.


However, that equation of success could never be deduced so easily and that truth could why we could never find so convincing scheme at trying anything, and in conclusion, any sites’ success coiuld be up to on the spot so witfully demonstrated temporarily deliberated acting by us, you know, in other words, that must be why we are never discover so universal success getting the best scheme so easily, because that previously learnt habit rather enfeebles real time reacting vigilance and actively creating improvisatorial mind tension.


All these truths are so correct, that must originate in that we should discern between our daily mindset and ceaseless interest to own profession and really confronting practical action in the main battlefield at really demanded professional duty.
(to be continued)





Jun. 14th. 2021