In my life, several destined meetings for my life as the first half, so crucially impacted my sensitivity and personal mentality, because particularly, infantile family member condition was never arbitrarily optional.
At the matter of fact, at the first family I was belonging to, my mother and my younger brother were the typically my spiritually and mentally obvious ememy sided ones.

Consequently to me, my mother and my younger brother were at common strategical reciprocal solidality.
However, in the period my father had been alive, that thing was not so seriously affecting my mentality at my own position, but after my father died of lever cancner, and only my oldest belonging family necessarily had been left three in which they two ones coming together in strategical reciprocity could get me isolated from them.

To be frank, my mother and my younger brother whose family menbers are his wife and now independent their two son are typically regarded as socially police positioned otherwise as social Gestapo agents. Because they have perfectly no understanding nor sympathy to all so awkward not at assimilating own identified act and behavior with singular absolute and correct socially conventional ideas and manner.

Though, with regard to their past acting's aspect, theirs has been typically Gestapo agents.

In other words, they cannot have generosity to the ones whose sensitivity and personal identity is personally heading for not socially habitual virtue nor generally admitted moralistic code versatile social regulatory ideas intrigue us in compulsion.

The kind of only very socially sincere as being obedient to orthodox ideas, and not generous to any kind of deviant sensitive so at inborn character,  toward anyone in society.

Then necessarily my life at the first half because only my father was at another time running in job of his and after my father's death, moreover that two poles' solidality and my ironical misfotune at having no spouse totally in my life with many reasons of which feature had been so not felicity accompanying in my life(around that I'd likd to mention at another occasion.)
Eventually, at the first half, I had one strong supporter to encourage me of my father, buv after his death, I had been surrounded by two poles' spiritual ememies as my mother and my younger brother.

Because they hate intrinsically so strong personal
ones like me, and only my father was generous at regarding my typed ones at taking stance and social life running. But now he was dead, then I have no my side at these terms.
Of course, that situation is not filled with only dissatisfaction to me, actually, buv that thing should be taken over to another essay series!

Actually, in any society, probably at any country, any community or municipality, stably shared allotment of that typed ones just like Gestapo agents must exist around us.

I want to call them social Gestapo!
Because they hate all so personally characterized ideas and acting ones with these characters.
In other words, they all are skillful at dodging all criticism by any other one with so autonomously taking stance at opting socially manifesting manner at no talking at anything so officially to anyone but substantially taking following others as general majority and only following suit without reflection to any own introspective consideration and just hating any radically stance and reformative supposition and actively done creative proposal.

Necessarily, they usually hide their nature, but when we together talk about general society, they are apt to show their own hating idea, so carelessly and regardlessly to that true mind as very coservative ideas.

They essentially have no sympathy to any kind of unique ideas owners to not only general ones but also celebrities. My mother is especially so. She loves only normally ordinary and commonplace ones in world, because only they could not criticize the ones like her.

Generally, they are prone to love only normal and not strongly personal ones as only commonplace idea holders in mind. They necessarily eventually get to hate any kind of rude and roughly showing emotional sensitivity.
Meanwhile, l have an emotion at meeting so unexpectedly not calmed nor not gentlemanly showing attitude and that appearance in ease and rather so peace of mind to be eased at so relaxed so paradoxically.

At the matter of fact, my sensitivity has rejection to all pretending to be modest and sincere as good behavioral boy and girl and the kinds of ones.
(to be continued)

Aug.  23rd.   2021

Memorandum; This series are about my true life, to some extent, my autobiographical tasty human observable content analytical essay.
Some exaggerating could be applied, only the thing is preliminary remark from me.